Book Review: To Catch a Firefly by Emmy Sanderson

Before I get into the review proper, I have to say one thing. This book is bloody gorgeous! It was beautiful and moving from page one, and I’m so glad I read it. I cried many times, but the gentle sadness of the first half of the book allows to you to feel immersed in the joy of the second half. Not that everything is plain sailing after things turn more positive, as that wouldn’t make for a very interesting book now, would it? Read on for my full review of this touching love story.

The blurb of this book sets up the story of best friends in their mid-twenties who clearly mean the world to each other, with one of them, Ellis, pining for the other. Very early on in the novel, however, it is revealed that the other best friend, (whimsically, but meaningfully named Lucky) is simultaneously pining for Ellis. It may seem incongruous that two men who know each other so well, after fifteen years of friendship would not realise that they shared these romantic feelings. However, Emmy Sanderson weaves the narrative so seamlessly that it is easy to accept. I won’t go into detail about how that pans out, because I want you to experience it for yourself.

The book is largely set in small-town Nebraska, in the middle of Tornado Alley, and this is not incidental to the plot. The corn fields, dusty roads and storm cellars are as integral to the storyline as the two main characters. I know nothing about this part of the world, but Sanders made it come alive to me, and I was really able to live the story with the characters thanks to the way she integrated the setting into the book. The book doesn’t feel claustrophobic though. Firstly, because the other main character travels around the world and those places are beautifully described and used in the story too. And secondly, because Ellis, who remains in Nebraska when Lucky travels, doesn’t feel trapped, so we as readers don’t either.

I need to talk about the character of Ellis, whom I loved completely, as a person and a literary character. Ellis is almost entirely non-verbal, using very few verbal mouth words throughout the novel. It would be easy for an author to fall into the trap of over-simplifying this character, or using idle stereotypes. That is certainly not the case here and Ellis is a fleshed-out fully-realised main character. Although Ellis doesn’t speak much, to the people that know and love him, he communicates effectively with non-verbal utterances and body language. Through the dual point-of-view style narrative, we are privy to Ellis’s inner monologue which is eloquent, witty, nuanced and clever. He also writes truly moving emails to Lucky (which he never sends) to express his love and subsequent sadness that it is (seemingly) unrequited. Sanderson demonstrates, through bullies and ignorant acquaintances, what the world sometimes thinks of people like Ellis, but her development of him proves that they are simply wrong.

Towards the end of the book, Ellis’s mother delivers a poignant speech about her son, and the errors she made in his early childhood in relation to his communication differences. In this speech she admits her (well-intentioned) mistakes, but doesn’t make it about her, or how difficult it was to parent such a child. It was the best commentary about neurodivergence, from a neurotypical perspective that I have ever read in a book. Or perhaps ever. Importantly, Ellis has agency and autonomy throughout, and isn’t perceived as “slow” or “simple” by the important people in his life. He is never infantilised and he never comes across as intended “inspiration” or a “feel-good story” for NT folks.

There is so much more I could say about this book. It’s funny, and moving and just the right amount of heart-breaking. The language and tone are pitch-perfect, with foreshadowing and call-backs used naturally and unpretentiously. I want to talk about the metaphors of the fireflies, the glass, and the tornadoes. I want to talk about the way Emmy plays with the small-town best-friends, vulnerable vs confident motif! But I won’t say any more, because I want you to enjoy everything that this book has to offer.

So, what are you waiting for? Go and read it already! Go on, git!